Just because you ’ve got a mouthful of formaldehyde ( instead of Jägermeister ) does n’t mean you have to give up your political party - hearty lifestyle deathstyle ! Here are 10 document mode you could become a weekend warrior for all timelessness .
10.) Turn your skull into a bong.
Why give your body to a aesculapian school , where a caboodle of soapy overachievers will utilise your small bowel as strings for the marionette that is your colon ? rather , donate your brainpan to your broheims , who will expend your brainpan to rip embarrassing dank nugs ! You wo n’t have a vote when it comes to picking out the music ( “ Shit brah , Dream Theater again ? ” ) , but at least no one will bury to croak you the pipe … because you are the piping . Whoa .
Pros : You will become a conversation slice for decennary ; your skull is a bong .
Cons : Dubious legality . Some enterprising young lapidator have attempted this onmultipleoccasionsonly to receive a stern reprehension from Johnny Law . Of of course , these chuckleheads were grave - robbing . I ’m no lawyer , so I ’m just going to say your legal milage may vary .
9.) Give your dome to a production of Hamlet.
If transubstantiate your skull into a pipe for your brosephs ’ “ ELO evenings ” is n’t quite your swiftness , all you drama nerd can always bequeath your skull to your local theater department . After all , there ’s historic precedentfor casting Yorick like this .
Pros : You ’re in the best scenery of the show and you do n’t have to con any pipeline .
Cons : There ’s only so many productions that require skulls . Unless the dramatic art company is curated by Gwar , there ’s no chance you ’ll receive a marquee role in Guys and Dolls.[as
8.) Display your body riding a sweet motorcycle.
When David Morales Colón of San Juan , Puerto Rico was murdered this April , he became internet famous after the funeral home mounted his remains onhis prize Honda CBR600 F4 .
https://jalopnik.com/funeral-home-displays-shooting-victim-on-motorcycle-for-5526411
Pros : Seeing as how you ’re legally dead , the Five - O ca n’t arrest you for breaking the speed demarcation …
Cons: … but you ca n’t take off the parking brake . Damn .
7.) Pull a Cynthia Plaster Caster and immortalize your genitalia
Sex from beyond the pall is a pain . for consummate your post - mortem whoopie , your teammate must either risk ending up on a registry or make out with Whoopi Goldberg . Why not give a synthetical mannikin of your detritus to your significant other next Valentine ’s Day ? Roses wilt — thesewon’t(links NSFW ) .
Pros : Your dear wo n’t lead off with Whoopi Goldberg .
flimflam : You ’ll be dumped before you ’re dead .
6.) Fire your ashes into a fireworks display.
Hunter S. Thompson ( above ) did it .
Pros : Hunter S. Thompson did it .
Cons : Hunter S. Thompson did it . Do n’t be a stumper .
5.) Have a viking funeral.
You know the drill — flame arrows , boat with dragon head , mead , horned helmets , power alloy . And look!A fellow in England draw one off as of late as 2006 .
Pros : Easily the most macho of send - offs ; it guarantees your friends a cookout by the beach .
Cons : The Coast Guard ; most folks ’ Valhalla credentials are tarnished by not having “ Scandinavian berserk ” on their resume .
4.) Have a Balinese funeral.
In Bali , you ’ll be treated to a funeral accomplished with plasterer’s float and a parade . It ’s like your own private Memorial Day ! After the procession , your body will be cremated ina turgid bull sculpture . Okay , so it ’s not exactly like Memorial Day .
pro : A cluster of strangers urge their brains out for you . Hey , you ’re more popular posthumously ! Like Van Gogh !
Cons : You call for some serious scratch . inflammable bull sarcophagus do n’t rise on trees , ya know .
3.) Donate your phalanges to the Sour Toe Saloon.
At the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City , Yukon , you may sample the famedSour Toe Cocktail , a.k.a . a salt - cured human toe served in a glassful of hootch . The custom began in 1973 after Sour Toe founder Captain Dick Stevenson institute a pickled miner ’s toe from the 1920s in his brother ’s cabin ( it ’s a long story ) . you may order a toe with any drink , but your lips must touch the salty shape at least once to be moot a truthful Sour Toe slugger .
professional : You get to put your dead , shrink toe in intoxicated coeds ’ lip , and you might be secret to an accidental act of cannibalism .
Cons : Four words : necrophiliac foot fetishist ’ mecca . I do n’t have any hard fact , I ’m just sayin ’ .
2.) Feed your charred remains to a massive catfish (and give him the taste for human flesh).
Remember when that foreign pensioner down the street used to service his Irish setter schnapps and the dog became a lush and it would ramble into your Little League game barking listlessly and Animal Control had to put it down and everyone cried ?
Pros : gentleman’s gentleman - eat catfishes are only transcend by psychic mules on the taxonomy of scary animals .
Cons : You ’re impart more repulsion into the world . Congratulations .
1.) Haunt a strip club.
Liquid Assets , a gentlemen ’s club in South Plainfield , NJ , claims to be haunted by mobsterMad Dog Vincent Coll . A&E’sGhost Storyis apparently track the guild next calendar month . Here ’s footage of the specter as provided by Liquid Assets — genuine ghostwriter not guaranteed .
All in all , haunting a strip show club sounds easier than attempting to summon“a busty ghost babe ” ( with the help of Yahoo Answers ) .
Pros : An timelessness of free nudity .
Cons : An eternity of sexual frustration .
[ Bali photo viaBoston ; Viking photo viaOutlander . ]
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