Besides the subject remark in the newspaper headline , today ’s “ Postal Apocalypse ” includes a historical look at butt - wiping technologies , how Cobra stick its backing in G.I. Joe , the worst Star Wars prequel quote , and more . It is possibly my preferent “ PA ” ever . Please , please keep those awesome question comin ’ to[email protected ] .
The Straight Poop
Chris P. :
Sometimes when I watch shows coiffe in apocalyptic worlds like The walk Dead or Falling Skies I marvel how the characters handle pooping . sure as shooting , there ’s probably SOME pot theme to be salvage , but not every time . But then , humanity survived for a long time before the invention of john paper . What did cultured bon ton do to keep their bum clean before indoor plumbing ? Is that what we ’d go back to ?
As long as we ’re stuck on this gross theme , who on The Walking Dead makes the big mephitis ? I ’m guessing Hershel . I wager that guy eat up whatever ’s in front of him like a food goliath .
allow ’s say first of all that pooping in the post - apocalypse is credibly a much easier undertaking than pooping in the pre - industrial long time . Even if you do n’t find crapper newspaper , you may go into a Filene ’s Basement , take a vast stack of blouses , cut them into shred , and have several months ’ supply of toilet composition right on there . manner is n’t run short to be on anyone ’s psyche when the dead rise , so there should be plenty of tissue paper equivalents just waiting for you wherever you go . And remember , wherever humans are , there will be clothes there ; Rick and crew have credibly been pass over their stern with prison jumpsuits all season .
As for what people did before toilet paper was invented in the 1800s , the answer is all sorts of things . They used leaves like many modern camping bus , I ’m sure . A lot of hoi polloi belike used their hand and then just washed them . The ancient Romans used a sponge on the end of a control stick , which sounds like a great idea until you learn that this spliff was communal , even in public privy , and was probably the gross affair ever .
For the record , people in India still use the ol’ hand - and - wash - thoroughly method acting today , which a lot of multitude fence is unclouded than just using can newspaper . frankly , I remember this is probably true . reckon about this : if your bounder shit on the carpet , would you ever in a million years simply wipe it up with a ironical paper towel ? Of course not . You ’d use water , if not an actual liquid cleanser . Well , why the great unwashed do n’t do the same thing for their own ass is bizarre to me . I eagerly await the day when Japanese bidet toilets make their style into the Western public — our lives would be much clean , if not actually better , if we had entree to hands - destitute anal retentive power - lavation .
As for the extremity of the Prison gang who elucidate the stalls the quickest , it ’s Carl . Do n’t ask why , but it ’s Carl .
Of clam and Dinosaurs
Dan S. :
I ’m talking the animated serial here , not the new motion-picture show . How the heck did Cobra get all of its support ? All of those jet , bases and vehicles they turn a loss each week have gravel to cost billions . It is not like Destro ’s family could be that rich .
Secondly , when they created their own Jurassic Park island , what happened to the dinosaur after the episode terminate ?
Have you ever lost your Book of Job and needed to buy health insurance ? Do you remember how insanely expensive it is , even if you were young and healthy ( and if you ’re sometime and/or have any form of ill , the cost can be almost prohibitive ) . call up what that indemnity was called ? COBRA . They did n’t even trouble oneself to alter the goddamn name .
As for the dinosaur make in the Hellenic episode “ Primordial Plot , ” Cobra ended up putting them in charge of their H.R. section . Hey , it ’s not the stupid hiring conclusion they ’ve ever made .
Mocking Us All
Mark S. :
So I take it that Mockingbird Lane did not do well enough to get a full on series . But is there any chance at all that there could be at least another movie in the qualification ? I thought the fibre were delightfully rebooted !
in all probability not . The cast extremity have moved on , and creator / manufacturer Bryan Fuller seems a quite a little more interested in making a Kickstarter motion picture of his previous series , Pushing Daisies , than returning to Mockingbird Lane . Since Pushing Daisies was awesome , this is fine , but I am in person pitiful that Mockingbird never had a fortune , all because NBC is run by half-wit whose internet programing gets trounced by basic cable on a veritable basis .
The Nose know
Michele B. :
Who would advance in a fight between Lord Voldemort and Skeletor * ?
They are both evil charming users who seek great power and have no nose …
- 2000s remaking competent Skeletor , not 80 ’s incompetent Skeletor
I ’m likely bias , but I say Skeletor . Both noseless ne’er - do - wells manage to do a bit of conquering before getting defeated by their various champion , but Voldemort ’s subjection were due almost entirely to his minions , while Skeletor ’s victories were achieved in spite of his minions , who were dumber than fucking tilt ( even in the 2000 toon ) . And remember , while Skeletor was usually beat by the strong adult male in the universe , Voldemort had his fucking hand to him by a sister and a high school student . I say Skeletor has the edge .
The substantial query is what Skeletor ’s henchman Stinkor would think about a Skeletor / Voldemort fight . Would he be deplorable at being so useless , or would he be glad to have the Clarence Shepard Day Jr. off ? Probably the latter .
Bombad Dialogue
Jonah B. :
Re learn the original SW trilogy ( non - especial edition ) and I started cerebrate about how awful the scripts were for the prequels in compare . What would you immobilise down as the single bad seam in the entire prequel trilogy ? My money ’s on “ begun , the clone warfare has , ” but I would also put “ you have done that yourself ” into thoughtfulness . What do you call up ?
My graven image … we could be here all day . I , personally , loathe Mace Windu ’s “ This company ’s over ! ” in Attack of the Clones , although I ’m not 100 % sure why ( perchance because it ’s a line written for Sam Jackson , not Star Wars ) . Anything Jar - Jar says is , of track , horrible . But I ’d say , without question , the absolute worst line in the prequels is Anakin ’s “ “ I do n’t care George Sand . It ’s common and jumpy and irritating and it catch everywhere , ” which is just totally counter to how a human being public lecture , thinks and feels . The fact that it ’s somehow suppose to be amorous makes it even more nightmarishly horrendous .
But that ’s scarcely all . Thought Cataloghas a list of 60 awful , dire lines from the Prequels , and I would n’t say any of them do n’t belong to on there .
Battle of the Bulge
A rummy movie looker :
I realize that you may not be serve this dubiousness in the same way that dame and gay men would be , but in your professional opinion as a swot and movie watcher , which had the greater visual impact in their respective films : David Bowie ’s knickers in Labyrinth , or Sting ’s bird of Jove ( ? ) shaped codpiece in the Dune movie ? In both cases , I feel powerfully that their several director filmed them in such as way as to win over me that they were all independent , possibly sentient entity . If so , do you think they should have also received disjoined acknowledgement during the end credit in their film ?
Well , you ’re veracious in that I might have a dissimilar reply than some , so think this my thought , and nothing more : I say the Bowie Bulge in Labyrinth had more ocular impact than Sting ’s Stinger in Dune , and here ’s why :
First of all , Sting ’s underwear in Dune — while winged and containing a monolithic bulge — does n’t really show off a lot of item . Obviously , Sting ’s packing something down there , but the underpants themselves cover a intensity of distance , which Sting ’s dust could be contained with way to spare , or fill to the rim . The underpants are solid and opaque , so there ’s no way to know for sure .
Meanwhile , Bowie is wearing tights in Labyrinth that show off his Diamond Dog in arresting detail , so we know it ’s enormous . It might — might be minor than Sting ’s package if it really maxes out its container , but I say the visual proof of Bowie ’s gargantuan plenty beats Sting ’s potential .
But that ’s not all ; Sting is only in his skivvies for one aspect in Dune , while Bowie is strutting around in his Pants Magic Pants for almost the entirety of Labyrinth . More importantly , the way Lynch made Dune , the film — well , Sting ’s near - naked affaire d’honneur makes mother wit , visually and conceptually , within the film ’s flair . It has a ocular impact , but it ’s an shock on equivalence with thing like the Sandworms and Baron Harkonnen and all that .
Meanwhile , Bowie ’s software is the intimate tyrannosaurus concealing in plain sight in what is purportedly a fun kid ’ phantasy - adventure movie . While technically more elusive , this half - hearted endeavor to hide it is like trying to enshroud an elephant in your closet — it just make the elephant a band more obvious . And most importantly , think back , Labyrinth is about a teenage girl endeavor to rescue her babe brother from goblins — and the fact that the Goblin King has a massive , massive dick adds this eldritch , omnipresent sexuality to the entire movie , which I ’m not 100 % sure was n’t included on intention . I say Bowie ’s bulge in spades had the bigger impact ( so to speak ) . Also , I am 99 % sure Bowie ’s phallus has its own SAG identity card .
Should I mention that “ Postal Apocalypse ” is my favorite thing I do at io9 , or does the fact that I got to drop a line 300 words about David Bowie ’s privates in Labyrinth make it go without say ?
Do you have questions about anything scifi , illusion , superhero , or nerd - related ? Email[email protect ] ! No interrogation too difficult , no question too dumb ! Obviously !
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