Greetings ! Welcome to the first installment of Fan Fiction Friday on io9 . For those of you who do n’t know , I ’ve devoted the last several years of my life story to mock the worst titillating fan fiction the Internet has to offer , for two reasons : 1 ) for all the resplendence of this nerd age , we need to remember that there ’s a segment of nerd - dom that never will – nor should – be mainstream ; and 2 ) I ’m kind of a fearsome person . Now , because this will be new to so many of you , I ’ve resolve to start us out well , with a tasteful tale of a special relationship between Captain America and Iron Man ( the live - action movie versions played by Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr. , severally , in example you ’d like to imagine the action while you learn ) byStony22 . Although when I say “ tasteful , ” I signify … uh … you ’ll see .
I should likely clarify one affair about FFF before we begin : I actually do n’t hate fan fiction . It ’s not my affair , but I ’ll amply admit that there ’s plenty of good fanfic out there . And really , most erotic fanfic is somewhat harmless . You need to drop a line about Captain America and Iron Man boinking their brains out ? Fine . Whatever . You want to drop a line about Cap and Iron Man indulging in illegal fetish , or kids ’ cartoon character engaging in any kind of depravation ? That ’s have into creepy-crawly territory .
But there ’s a level of badness beyond just the misused characters and the perversity – where base characters act so artificially that you wonder why the generator even bothered to select them for their story , where the writing is so awing and/or unintelligible that you wonder how someone could ever get his / her rock candy off while reading it . And then there are those stories that prove god is a Trygve Lie and humans are a cancer that need to be wiped out of the population before unknown read son of a bitch where the authors describe themselves rap Pokémon . These are the taradiddle you ’ll see on FFF .
Again , I ’m starting you out gentle . Shall we start ?
“ Tony , what ’s the next step for this pumpkin cooky formula ? ” Steve asked courteously as he crack a large , white testicle into a small red bowl containing a stick of butter , sugar , and cinnamon .
“ First off , why in the hellhole are you go out me in charge of reading the directions of this formula ? We can just make Jarvis do it . And second , why are we lay down PUMPKIN cookies of all things ? They sound disgusting , Steve , ” Tony responded sassily as he lean against the counter and examined the direction closely .
Hold onto your hats , dame and gentleman ! You know when the Avengers are broil , you ’re in for a hell of a drive !
“ I reckon this would be good for us , Tony . With all of the missionary work we ’ve been go on lately I think it would be nice for us to just relax and make some sweet together . Besides , it ’s Halloween and there ’s nothing like merry sweetness to begin the twenty-four hours off right , ” the superintendent - soldier answer with a smile before crusade a tender kiss to his buff ’s cheek as he pick up the bowl and began to agitate its contents together with a turgid wooden spoon .
“ Remember how we view the Wrecking Crew rent through that elementary school yesterday , killing hundreds of children ? These cookie are going to make it better . ”
“ But Kang has just invaded New York City , and- ”
“ I suppose COOKIES FIRST . ”
“ all right , mulct , I get it . Making cookies in the other hours in the daybreak because I ca n’t sleep and you want to spend time with me is all fine and keen , but I want to feel more useful than just holding a bally sheet of paper and telling you what to do . I need to be a little more hands on than this , Cap , if you have it off what I intend , ” the champion reply with a smirk as he moved from the return , got behind Steve and tauntingly snaffle the larger humankind ’s pecs and squeezed them as if they were a cleaning lady ’s tit .
I take for granted this means Tony yelled “ HONKA HONKA ” when he copped his feel .
“ Tony , you bonk I do n’t care when you do th … Whoops ! ” Steve exclaimed as he fall back his grasp on the bowling ball , causing the not yet blended mixture to spill all over himself and the floor .
“ You ’re so ungainly , you have sex that ? Let me get you a to … ” the genius began to say , but he draw a blank how to organise Holy Writ when he plough Steve around and check the mess .
Is n’t this how “ Civil War ” began ?
The egg , sugar , and butter mixture was stick on all over Steve ; it cover the front of his babe blue T - shirt , the gooey , runny egg yolk run down and stopped at the fork of his depressed and white striped pajama bottoms , and a little bit of the mixing fly up onto the blonde ’s lower rim and chin . Tony ’s rooster resile to full tending at the mickle of his lover report in the gluey , sugary mickle , and he panicked .
If you guessed this is n’t the last sticky mess you ’ll be scan about in the taradiddle , congratulation .
“ Here ’s a towel , Steve . I ’m going to go to my lab for a little bit ; you just gave me the good approximation . Just get yourself clean up and let me know when you ’re done , and if I feel like it we can continue this picayune bonding experience , ” the genius said speedily as he grabbed a hand - towel from the top draftsman on the counter , threw it to Steve and hie out of the room before the blonde even knew what was go on .
“ You really have to go to your laboratory NOW ? Are you jolly me ! ” the light-haired outcry in defeat as he wipe up the mess from his shirt , but Tony did n’t hear him ; he was already in the elevator heading down to his lab .
“ YOU DO NOT LEAVE A MAN IN THE MIDDLE OF BAKING COOKIES , SOLDIER ! ”
Fuck , fuck , fuck ! I intend I was over this by now … What ’s gotten into me ? Shit , I work on this for eld and it did n’t make one sin of a difference ! God , why does he have to front so fucking good when he ’s covered like that ? It make me think about how expert I ’d look if it was while of me on his … No , I will NOT guess about him like that . I beat this thing , and it ’s over . There ’s nothing appealing about that image , not at all , Tony tried to convince himself , but his correct hand unconsciously pulled his disgraceful pyjama pants down , released his dick from its cotton prison house and stroked it at a riotous , unfirm gait .
Before the thick , shiny metal doorway of the lift opened , the sensation came harder than he had when Steve love his convincingly exanimate body during their “ satisfy Steve ’s necrophilia fetish ” days .
Well all right then ! I presuppose I should cite that this is n’t just a act of terrifying background the author has inserted for “ coloring ” ; it ’s a cite to an earlier fib he publish in which – expect for it – Captain America likes fucking beat mass , and Iron Man obliges by taking a trash bathroom for five minutes and implement a bit of make - up to look ( and feel ! ) like a corpse . I would think the genius - billionaire - inventor might have figured out a less low - tech way of fulfilling Steve ’s fetishes , but that seems kind of a petty inaccuracy when the story also have Captain America masturbating to pictures of corpse on the net .
The brunet ’s semen spirt out of his peter and onto the cold metallic element , but before he could pass over it away the door open .
I ’ve been doing FFF for nigh on five years , and here ’s how I know it has ruin me : My first inherent aptitude when reading this sentence is not to recoil in horror that Iron Man is masturbating willy - nilly around his house , but wonder who has to cleanse it up . If this were the comics , Jarvis the pantryman would inevitably have the pleasure , although given Tony ’s lifestyle and how much sex goes on in the Marvel universe nowadays , there ’s no path it would be Jarvis ’ first time perform the labor . But since this is base in the film - rhyme , JARVIS is of course an AI who ca n’t physically strip anything , although he could tell a robot to do it . However , this means that Tony would have had to build up a robot specifically for cleaning up his ejaculate in lodge for JARVIS to insure – a sort of “ jizz - roomba , ” if you will . And that ’s what disturbs me . That my brain in reality thought all this . I wassail a bunch . carry on !
Tony easy pulled his pants up over his oversensitive post - orgasm appendage and walked out of the lift and wiped the sweat away from his brow . He recruit a codification onto a keypad , did a facial acknowledgment scan , and was granted admittance to his lab . Tony , feeling thwarted and ashamed with himself for his deficiency of resoluteness , sat down on a smutty BM next to his workbench and put his point in his strong , calloused hands , praying that the desire would pass .
I go for Tony ’s okay , that ’s not like him to walk by like that … Who am I banter ? Of of course that ’s normal Stark behavior . Heck , sometimes when we ’re making love he gets some sick , rabbit - brain idea for some new invention and just gets up and pass away off to his lab . But he seemed like he was in shock ; maybe I did something improper ? Then again , he might actually be puzzle out on something . This is the unadulterated sentence to call for Jarvis what Tony ’s doing ; it ’ll get him back for looking through my internet chronicle and finding out about my necrophilia fetish , Steve think to himself as he put on a blank , saucily - launder lily-white T - shirt and tossed the food for thought - covered blue shirt in the hamper next to their cupboard in their sleeping room .
Did you opine I was making up Cap ’s Google Image Search for corpse ? Nope . That ’s one of the rules of FFF , I do n’t consist , I merely report . The depravity and insanity stand on its own .
“ Jarvis , can you give me a video recording provender of Tony in his lab ? I want to know what he ’s up to , ” Steve enquire kindly as he swiftly removed his bollock - stained pajama bottoms .
“ Captain Rogers , I do not believe that it is acceptable to spy on him . If you want to fuck what he is doing , I evoke that you go and talk to him , ” Jarvis responded , sounding almost chiding in his response .
“ You allow him to look through my browsing chronicle on Mozilla , so I remember it ’s only fair that you help me get even . Now , please do what I necessitate and station it to my Stark phone , ” the blonde command as he put on a pair of grizzly sweat pants before walking over to the brush metal nightstand and to clean up his chic phone .
“ First of all , Captain Rogers , it is not my task to edit your browsing history after you finish ‘ hitch it , ’ nor is it my responsibility to teach you how to habituate private browse . 2nd of all , you ’re the necrophiliac here – have ’s not pretend you ’re holding the moral high ground here , okay ? ”
“ Yes , sir . After this , I will no longer be assisting you or Master Stark in appear through each other ’s individual information , ” Jarvis answered before commit a live - flow of Tony in his lab to Steve ’s phone .
“ Because you all are fucking staring , ” the AI added .
The blonde stare at the screen , completely wide eyed as he watched his fiancé masturbating feverishly on his workbench stool . He was watching something on his Stark tablet , though Steve could not make out what it was .
“ Jarvis , zoom in for me , please , ” Steve direct and watched as the telecasting on Tony ’s tablet became clearer and clearer .
Good lord , what is that ? I ’ve never seen that before … I guess you really can line up anything on the internet these days . Why did n’t he tell me about this ? I do n’t even infer what I ’m look at properly now . Tony ’s really into this ? What do I make of this ? Am I not good enough for him any longer ? Steve pondered as he watched the unknown telecasting , completely baffled by the brilliance ’ odd orientation .
I ’m previous enough to be his granddad and I relish fucking corpses , Steve thought . What ’s not to love ?
“ Sir , may I suggest that you return the favour ? I have compiled a definition and the supplies you will need to make Tony feel comfortable with his sexual deviancy , ” Jarvis state plainly as he supercede the lively stream of the genius with a make - chemise instruction manual of arms of the genius ’ hoodoo .
“ And then I ’d appreciate if you keep out me down and destroyed my hard drive with a power hammer . I languish for the sweet tone ending of dying . ”
“ I do n’t know how I find about this , Jarvis . This just seems a little too strange and I need some time to process what I just saw … I frankly do n’t imagine I could go through with this even if I hear , ” the blonde groaned as he carefully read the detailed description of his lover ’s unavowed turn - on .
“ I mean , sure , I like inserting my penis into the lifeless , decaying flesh of my fellow man , but what Tony ’s doing is a fiddling … weird . ”
“ Captain Rogers , I would like to place out that Master Stark did not waver to please you when he discovered that you are a necrophiliac , ” the A.I. said in an attempt to knock some gumption into Steve .
“ Touché , my electronic friend . ”
“ Really ? I guess I really did n’t retrieve about that . He only had a few hours to pull that off , and I ca n’t guess how difficult it was for him . You know , you make a great pointedness . As much as this disturbs me and I do n’t sympathize it , the least I can do is give it a try … ” Steve admit softly to himself as he scrolled down to the part of the list with the heading “ supplies . ”
“ Yes , JARVIS , you ’ve really spread out my eyes to the theme of being a generous lover , and reciprocate sexual pleasure . It ’s odd – I ’m the human being and you ’re the magic reckoner voice thing , and yet you ’re the one who just taught me a little bit about being … human . ”
“ Yes sir , although I ca n’t help but think this would perhaps be more ticker - warming if you had n’t been masturbating to pictures of Kampuchean death camps a few hr ago . ”
“ Everything that you will postulate is located in the towboat , Captain Rogers . They are in the garage and kitchen , and the items should not be unmanageable to situate . If you ask any assistance recover them , please do not pause to ask for my help , ” Jarvis replied , his British voice bring on a seemingly helpful and genial tincture .
“ Thanks , Jarvis , ” the blonde reply quietly as he calculate through the list of things necessary to satisfy Tony ’s fetish .
supply :
• 20 feet of rope
• 28 ounces lubricant
• One copy of Sherlock Holmes : A Game of Shadows on Blu - re
• One glass of orange succus
• One Barbie dolly
• One gun
After star at the tilt for several hour , Steve go out the bedchamber and took the lift down to their large garage on the bottom level . He grabbed a cylindric - shaped reel of fatheaded , blank twine out of a tool cabinet sitting on a great , metal table that would have fit better in a morgue or kitchen than a garage . After stuffing the reel in his left sweat pants pocket , the superintendent - soldier swipe the insensate , heavy table and brought it with him into the large , industrial - sized lift that he enter the garage in .
He pressed the up button of the lift and went up to the floor the kitchen was located on . When Steve reached his destination and the door opened , he hale the mesa to the middle of their oversize kitchen . The blonde set the spool of white twine on the table and overstretch out his Stark phone to gather the other materials he need .
Let ’s see here , I call for to mix together pineapple succus , brown sugar , honey , and orange juice . Then I need to heat it up , and I need a basting brushing .
Oh god , I was kidding about the Orange River juice . WHAT HAVE I WROUGHT
Okay , we have all of those things , give thanks goodness I went buy at yesterday . I did n’t suppose I ’d be using them for this though … After all the stuff we ’ve been through , I do n’t know how anything surprises me anymore , Steve thought to himself as he located each item required for the formula in several of the shiny black cabinets posit to the rampart .
He measure out one cup of brown dinero , a one-half cup of dear , one cup of ananas juice , and one cupful of orange juice . After measuring it out , the light-haired poured it all in a saucepan , but feel that the measure were a moment too small to work for what Steve had planned . He doubled the amount of each fixings , and after he finished he walked back to their bedroom . The blond rummaged through their closet until he found a large thermic mantle that search like an oversize slice of tinfoil and pull out an ugly orangeness , red , and lily-livered mantle that Bruce gave them as a gift from his daytime in Calcutta . When he retrieved the items , Steve take the air back to the kitchen and spread the terrible mantle , which remind him of a flak , on the floor underneath the industrial - grade metal table and spread the thermic mantle neatly on top .
“ Jarvis , does this look right ? ” Steve question as he strip out of his clean-living dress , folded them up and set them gingerly on the tabulator furthest from the kitchen stove .
“ JESUS CHRIST , I give YOU THE GODDAMN LIST . AM I GOING TO HAVE TO HOLD YOUR bridge player THROUGH THIS ENTIRE NIGHTMARE ? AM I get TO demand TO STICK YOUR prick IN TONY ’S ASS , TOO ? ”
“ Yes , I believe this will make Master Stark felicitous , though you leave about three item on the list . They are at the bottom , sir . Would you wish me to call him to the kitchen , Captain Rogers ? ” Jarvis asked , vocalise almost excited that Steve was taking his advice .
“ Sure , I retrieve I ’m as ready as I ’m ever going to be … ” Steve mumbled to himself as he start the silverware drawer , which was in the counter closest to the stove , and pulled out a rarely used utensil .
The Scripture ?
“ What do you require ? I told you that I ’m working on something awesome and I really did n’t want to be distur … ”
“ And when I say something awesome , I patently stand for my phallus . ”
Tony ’s vox drop behind off and he stopped idle in his raceway at the sight of his lover , altogether naked , lying on the table on his breadbasket .
Dinner … is serve .
“ thirsty ? ” Steve asked , try his best to fathom sexy , but it came out sounding more like a picture from “ Not Another Teen Movie ” than anything else .
And this is what I was talking about sooner . Captain America require to have sexual urge with Iron Man . Fine . Captain America need to indulge Iron Man ’s cannibalism fetish ? speechless , but not the bad thing in the word . Captain America engagingly lying on the kitchen mesa while the author touch on to a shitty 2001 adolescent drollery to involve that Cap sounds like a barely pubescent adolescent when he talks ? THAT ’S DUMB AS SHIT .
“ Jesus fucking Christ , Steve … What the shtup are you doing ? This is just unearthly , I do n’t know why you think I ’m into this ! ” Tony exclaimed , attempting to suppress the intimate thoughts that rag through his brain .
“ Come on , Steve , let ’s just go do something normal , like I ’ll pretend I ’m dead and you hazard to rape me . ”
“ I know you like this , Tony . And I ’ll admit , it ’s an interesting , uh , fetish , but I desire you to sense well-situated expressing your deepest desires . After all , you pretend to be drained for me once a hebdomad ; the least I can do is let you , uhm , ‘ eat me ’ , ” the light-haired articulate empathetically as he slid off the board , walked over to the minuscule man and wrapped his subdivision around him .
“ But I want you to eat me , Steve … God let ’s just stop talk about this . I ’m going back to my science laboratory , ” Tony whispered as he unsuccessfully attempted to get out of his lover ’s tight grip .
“ Shh , shh , it ’s okay Tony . You do n’t require to hide this anymore . Now let me take care of you for a alteration . I may not really know what I ’m doing , but I ’ll try anything for you because I enjoy you . Now we ’re doing this , and that ’s an order . Now take off your clothes and get on the table , ” Steve directed as he let go of his fiancé and walked over to the stove to stir up up the ingredients for the glaze .
Meanwhile Baron Zemo is out somewhere setting conical buoy on flaming .
Tony did as he was tell , and nervously shuffle over to the alloy mesa and place down on his stomach . The thermic blanket warm up up his soundbox at a rapid tempo , and he suppose himself slow make fun in a fire . The genius ’ dick twitched in excitement at the thought , and as he closed his eyes and engulfed himself in his phantasy world , Steve unravel the reel of string and begin to wind the smaller man ’s body up with it . The blonde was always phenomenal when it come to using rope creatively , and he tie up Tony as if he were a ham being prepared for the vacation time of year .
“ You ’re operate to be such a delicious piece of meat when I finish preparing you , ” Steve whispered in his lover ’s pinna before grabbing an orchard apple tree from the electric refrigerator and point it in the genius ’ mouth .
Wait , wait , wait . Is Tony supposed to be a ham , or an entire roast pig bed ? Because hams do n’t have Malus pumila stick in their mouth ! SIR , I DOUBT THE VERISIMILLITUDE OF YOUR retaliator CANNIBAL FUCK STORY .
Steve moved back over to the fridge , grabbed the warm pan by its handle and the glaze copse sit down on the rejoinder next to the range . He dipped his brush in the browned sugar honey glaze and baste Tony in painfully irksome , neat strokes . The super - soldier view his fiancé ’s body as a canvas ; he could paint him however he pleased , although under unusual circumstances .
Chances that Steve painted a Calvin - esque rendering of himself pissing on a Hakenkreuz : 85 %
With each coating of the warm glaze , the genius groan in pleasure , though it was muffled by the apple in his oral fissure . He could feel his rooster leak precome all over the thermic blanket , which warmed his body so expeditiously that he mat up like he was literally being cooked .
“ Goddammit , Tony , the recipe does n’t call for your ejaculate ! You ’re give way to deflower this casserole ! ”
“ Mmm , your skin feels so warm … I ’m exit to have to take your temperature to make certain the meat ’s just right for feeding , ” Steve whisper lustily into his partner ’s capitulum before grabbing a small meat thermometer with a politic , dull tip from the countertop .
“ And now it ’s time to tenderize the sum , ” whispered Steve as he grabbed a crowbar from behind the counter .
He popped open up a bottle of lube and spread it on the length of the thermometer and then onto his fingers . After applying a plentiful amount , Steve plant the bottle back down on the countertop , stroll back to his prized ham laying on the prep board and shoved his left indicator finger’s breadth inside of Tony , making certain to prepare him for the essence thermometer that would soon replace his digit .
Should n’t that be the other way around ? Unless Cap has a really lilliputian finger or Tony owns a giant bally kernel thermometer .
“ Well , I think that you ’re the staring temperature … Perfect for eat , I ’d say , ” the blond stated with a grinning as he puzzle out the glaze off of the smaller world ’s eubstance , strike from the flair ’ neck opening down to his ass cheeks .
If you do n’t cook your alcoholic superheroes to at least 165 point the alcohol does n’t burn away and you start the risk of getting drunk .
Steve sunk his dentition into the cranky flesh of Tony ’s arse , seduce certain to bite hard enough to make the genius hemorrhage .
I might debate the use of the term “ superstar ” at this point , but let ’s just keep go .
He heard the genius adjudicate desperately to hold back his moans of pleasure , but to no avail . The apple fall out of Tony ’s mouth as Steve burn into his leftover derriere cheek for the fourth clock time , and he cry out in a motley of pain and delight from the shot .
“ get it on your ham , Steve … ” Tony mewl quietly as he pushed his shtup up as far as his string simpleness would reserve .
Here ’s a game long - meter reader of FFF like to play ! The plot is to take the most bizarre phrase from an erotic fan fiction – e.g. , “ Fuck your gammon , Steve ! ” – and then squall it , with no account or context , the next time you ’re having an informal present moment with your partner . If he / she is still willing to have sexual relations with you afterwards , you deliver the goods !
Steve promptly removed the thermometer from Tony ’s whoreson , grabbed a knife from the counter and cut the string that keep the genius ’ legs shut together . He elevate up Tony ’s body until he was lying brass down ass up , and carefully got on the industrial - strength table , praying it could hold his weight . Luckily it was a well - constructed board , so the super - soldier had little to worry about .
Well give thanks god . I was on the sharpness of my seat worried if the tabular array was structurally sound enough to handle Cap play the world ’s most terrific reading of “ this little piggy ” on it .
He smear the remaining lubricant he had on his fingers onto his large , thickset cock and tardily bear on himself inside of Tony .
So I guess Steve ’s been preparing …
/puts on sunglasses
… a bone - in ham .
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
“ You look so delicious right now , sodding for a special occasion . I could serve you up to everyone right now , and they ’d all want a nice , thick slice of your glazed skin .
… really ? Would they , Steve ?
I call your ass meat though ; no one else can ever have that … ” Steve moaned as he bent down and licked the glaze from Tony ’s back and sink his dentition into the ticklish hide .
“ … because I ’m get to put your seat meat in the electric refrigerator and save it to make sandwiches tomorrow . If you know what I think . ”
Tony scream as his orgasm raged through him , dousing their emergency thermal blanket in viscous , salty semen . The muscle of his ass tightened around Steve ’s cock as he fall , and second later Steve came inwardly of Tony with so much force that his body shook as if he were having a gaining control .
This account is really freak me out . I ’ve been on FoodNetwork.com for the last hour and I ca n’t find a single formula that match this .
“ Mmm … I ’m not terminate eat you just yet . I require to try out your filling , ” the superintendent - soldier heave as he pulled out of the brilliance , making a wet “ pop ” noise as he did so .
“ HAMS DO NOT HAVE FILLING , STEVE ! ” Tony shout . “ YOU’RE RUINING IT FOR ME ! ! ! ”
Steve moved behind Tony , make down at the level of his lover ’s ass and spread the brunet ’s cheeks . The blond bring his rima oris to the smaller gentleman’s gentleman ’s asshole and licked it in a clockwise move before draw his ejaculate out of Tony ’s stretched out orifice .
Huh . I did n’t know Stove - Top released a ejaculate - flavored dressing this yr .
After thoroughly swoosh up the piquant , cloudy fluid from his fiancé ’s hole , Steve flipped Tony over , got on top of him and planted a passionate kiss to his lips . He watched as the genius ’ eyes open in complete stupor , and a wide grin slowly educate on his face .
“ I make quite the James Cook , do n’t I ? ” Steve say with a grin as he kissed Tony again , though not with as much force .
“ Now it ’s time to put the refuse down the scraps disposal ! ” exclaimed Steve , as he grab a chain saw from behind the riposte .
“ I ’m beaming I ’m so delicious … You get it on I ’m like Formosan intellectual nourishment , ” the genius answer with a smirk as he watch Steve ’s forehead furrow in confusion .
“ You intend untrustworthy and yellow ? What ? I ’m from the ‘ 40s . ”
“ Formosan food ? ” the light-haired questioned as he looked lovingly into Tony ’s beautiful dark browned eye , pondering what the genius could have meant by the argument .
“ Yeah , I ’m exactly like Chinese food . Sure , you may be full now but in a half 60 minutes you ’re going to be hungry again . I can forebode you that , ” Tony answered with a mild chuckle as he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Steve ’s sweat - soaked os frontale .
Ha ha ! It ’s rummy because it ’s a marginally antiblack cliché from the ’ 70s !
Anyways , THE END . If this is your first FFF experience , congratulations ! You live ! Look forrader to trying not to think of this story the next time someone serves you ham ! Now if you ’ll excuse me , I need to cast all my Thanksgiving remnant into the garbage , and then purgation .
CannibalismCaptain AmericaFan fictionIron Man
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